She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
