Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
