Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
