and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
