we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
