My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
