shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
