Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize