apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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