youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
