how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
