I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
