there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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