hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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