grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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