What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize