i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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