its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
