Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
