Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
