sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
