I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My pussy is not your playground.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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