no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
