Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
