dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
