...so i touched it.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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