If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
