tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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