I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
