please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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