I want to have your abortion
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
