C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
