I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
