My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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