i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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