i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
