So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
