I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I wear drunk well.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
