Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
