whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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