I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
