Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
