Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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