I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
His nipple licking is glorious
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