I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
