UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
