Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
