I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
