It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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