I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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