Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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