Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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