I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Come share oat with me in your robe
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
