So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
