Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Send help, water and tortillas.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
