i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
