idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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