1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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