I am in a vortex of obligation.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
