You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
