Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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