Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
