I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
