I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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