I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
